He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
