so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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