yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
