I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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