Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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