matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
