I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
love makes seman taste better
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
