so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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