So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
