How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
