My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
