I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
