Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
