You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its not stalking. its research.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
