I'm gonna have a badass scar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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