I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
