i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
