fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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