Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
