does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
