just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
