You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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