Buhtt sex?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
