Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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