I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
