hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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