We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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