Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
