If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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