wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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