next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
