all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
