why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
