Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
