just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
