Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
