I bet he comes in French.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
