I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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