also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
