I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
