Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
