I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize