24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
