You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
