he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
