just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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