areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
