No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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