She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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