i barfeds in our rink
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
