we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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