I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize