she woke up with a sticky ear
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We are all done wearing pants today
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
