I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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